


Ford is Low-key an Evil Mastermind

by kristimoon



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, Musicals, Singing, the names of the songs and what musical they're from are included, theater kids dissing cats
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-03-22 19:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13770840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristimoon/pseuds/kristimoon
Summary: based on this post: http://pongpalace.tumblr.com/post/169776561973/ford-collects-all-the-samwell-mens-hockey-team





	1. Various Songs- The Sound of Music

**Author's Note:**

> Please note I don't know how this fits into canon other than it takes place sometime after 3.16.

Ford considered it a miracle that she was still able to walk under all the clothes she was wearing.  It was also a small miracle that neither the coaches nor Lardo batted an eye when she walked into practice wearing 6 shirts (but they probably assumed she was cold in the ice rink).  In fact, none of the team members thought anything of her wearing several articles of their frequently misplaced clothing, until the tall redhead who was at her interview (she was pretty sure his name was Dex) came up to her one day after practice and asked, “Why are you wearing my sweatpants?”

Ford looked up at Dex and said, “You left them on the bus last week.  I was waiting for you to come get them.”

“Well, can I have them back?”

She grinned and said, “You have to sing me a song from a musical if you want them back.”

Dex paled a little bit (if it was even possible) and asked, “A musical?”

“Broadway musicals, movie musicals, TV musicals, as long as it isn’t Cats, it’s good.”

“But I can’t sing.”

“Well,” Ford said, turning around and walking away, “you’re not getting your sweatpants back.”

“ _Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens…_ ”

Dex started to walk behind her while singing My Favorite Things.  He wasn’t a bad singer, but his voice cracked a lot.  By the time he sang the whole song, they’d reached the Haus.

“We should do the exchange of garments inside,” Dex said.

They walked into the Haus and Ford sat down on the green couch and started removing the top layer of sweatpants she was wearing.

“I think that’s my flannel,” Dex said, pointing at the edge that was poking out of the large Samwell sweatshirt Ford was wearing.

“You have to sing another song if you want it back.”

“ _Do, a deer, a female deer.  Re, a drop of golden sun._ ”

He continued on with Do, Re, Mi, as more of the players started walking into the Haus, some covering their ears.  This song was considerably more pitchy than My Favorite Things, but she’d heard worse.

After he finished, he pointed to Ford’s wrist and asked, “Is that my watch?”

“At this point, you have no one to blame but yourself.”

“ _You are sixteen, going on seventeen…_ ”

This song was definitely better for Dex’s vocal range, Ford couldn’t help but think.  A few of the players started to gather around the green couch, even Bitty, who otherwise wouldn’t dare go near it.

“ _...I am seventeen, going on eighteen, I’ll take care of you._ ”

“No, you’re not,” a player wearing a green beanie said.

“Shut the fuck up, Nurse, it’s a song,” Dex said to beanie-boy.

“Why were you even singing in the first place, man?” Nurse asked.

“He wanted some of his clothes back,” Ford said, standing and holding up some of the clothes that she wasn’t wearing at the moment.

“I was wondering where my Samwell sweatshirt went,” the tall, blonde boy said.

“So we have to sing if we want our clothes back?” Bitty said.

“Any song, any musical that isn’t Cats,” Dex said.

Immediately, the other hockey players started forming a line behind Dex.

“Can you guys tell me all of your names before you start singing?” Ford said, “I can probably guess what song you’re singing.”


	2. Good Morning Baltimore- Hairspray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tango becomes introduced to Ford's return policy on lost clothes, shenanigans happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Ten points to anyone who can guess what my favorite musical is)

Ford had to admit, some of the team members had really good taste in musicals.  But it was never the team members she expected.  (As it turned out, Dex only knew the words to all of the songs from The Sound of Music because his family watched it every Christmas.)  Holster, who claimed to be an appreciator of Broadway, only sang her songs from the most popular musicals of all time (seriously, did he think she was an amateur?).  The two players her age on the other hand…

She expected either Whiskey or Tango to resort to Cats, but they completely defied her expectations.  Whiskey never misplaced anything, but she did catch him listening to The Mystery of Edwin Drood when they were walking to the dining halls together.

“What’s your favorite ending?” she said, nudging his arm.

“I don’t know,” Whiskey said, looking her in the eye, “give me an easier question, Foxtrot.”

“Foxtrot?” Ford said, tilting her head to the side, “I don’t even square dance.”

“NATO alphabet,” Whiskey said, “Tony’s Tango, I’m Whiskey, your last name starts with an F, so you’re Foxtrot.  It’s our thing.”

“I thought the WTF handshake was our thing.”

“This can be our thing too.”

Ford- Foxtrot could live with that.

On the other hand, Tango misplaced a lot of things, but the first time he did it was the most memorable.

“Are those my jeans?” he said, as they were sitting on the green couch in the Haus, watching a movie with Bitty.

“Sing me something, Tony,” Foxtrot said, not looking away from the movie.

“You have to sing her a song from a musical that isn’t Cats, hon,” Bitty said, pausing the movie.

“What’s Cats?” Tango said, “I don’t think I’ve heard of it.”

“Oh thank God, we can still be friends,” Foxtrot said, “And Cats is a super popular musical that you’d expect to be good but is actually terrible due to its lack of plot other than every character being a cat.”

Tango stood up and stroked his chin for a few minutes, then grabbed Foxtrot’s hands and pulled her up to her feet.

“ _ Oh, oh, oh, woke up today, feeling the way I always do… _ ”

He started spinning her around the room as he sang Good Morning Baltimore.  Foxtrot hadn’t been expecting him to do that, much less actually be an impressive singer.  Seriously, was he in a choir or something?

Tango continued to dance with Foxtrot while he sang the song, and then drew as far away from her as their clasped hands would allow.

“ _ Good morning, Baltimore! _ ”

He continued to spin her around the Haus, Bitty following them with his phone, ready to tweet the whole thing.  At one point he even picked her up, and she just couldn’t stop laughing at how silly he was.

“Get a room, you two!” Whiskey chirped from the Haus doorway.

Tango ignored him and continued serenading Foxtrot, but Foxtrot said, “You want to join us, Connor?”

“Fuck yeah, Hairspray’s the motherfucking best,” he said, walking over to Tango and helping him put Foxtrot at the foot of the stairs.

“ _ I love you, Baltimore, _ ” the two tadpoles sang the rest of the song in unison, then Tango attempted to put Whiskey and Foxtrot on his shoulders, but ended up collapsing on the bottom of the stairs.

“So do you want to go to Annie’s with us, or… oh look, a tad-pile!” Chowder said, walking down the stairs with his girlfriend (Foxtrot didn’t know her name).

“Everything hurts,” Tango said, Whiskey entirely crushing him.

This team was definitely growing on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr @kristimoon, I post memes and the occasional fandom.


	3. Time Stops- Big Fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chowder and Caitlin give Tango a run for his money in the adorableness category.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to include a song from Big Fish in this, because I got to see the Illinois High School Theatre Fest production of it, and it was awesome. I highly recommend at least listening to the soundtrack. Also, I apologize for not updating in a while, I've been really busy with schoolwork and theatre things.

Foxtrot still couldn’t believe she was naive enough to believe that Tango was the most extra member of the team in terms of showing affection.  In reality, he didn’t even come close.

Of course, there was Jack “get 15 rose bouquets for my boyfriend because that’s his jersey number” Zimmermann and Bitty, who apparently held the record for most PDA-related fines in a month, but then there was the couple who had held the record before them.  Chowder and Farmer.

Obviously she already knew Chowder, considering he was the starting goalie, but Farmer was a mystery to her until quite recently.  Her and Bitty would often hang out in the Haus kitchen together, talking excitedly about god-knows-what (when she asked Bitty about it, he simply said that it was only a matter of time before Chowder was in the NHL and he needed someone who understood).  When Foxtrot finally got the nerve to talk to her, she found out two things, 1. that her first name was Caitlin, and 2. that she loved to watch musicals when she could.

One day, as Foxtrot, Caitlin, Chowder, Bitty, and Jack were watching Parks and Rec together on the disgusting couch, Foxtrot noticed that Caitlin was wearing a Jets jersey.

“Am I the only one that finds it ironic that Farms is a Jets fan and Chowder is a Sharks fan?” Foxtrot said.

Caitlin thought about what she said for a moment, then sighed and said, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I never noticed that.”

“Never noticed what?” Chowder said, looking at his girlfriend confusedly.

“I was just trying to rep my hometown and Foxtrot makes an unnecessary connection to West Side Story,” Caitlin said, leaning her head on Chowder’s shoulder.

“Wait,” Jack said, “Farmer, you’re from Winnipeg?”

“Yep,” Caitlin replied, “born and raised.  My parents are both Métis, and my dad and I moved to Oakland when I was ten.”

“I’m so sorry that I ever assumed you were white, babe,” Chowder said.

“I looked it up,” Bitty said, looking up from where he was typing on his phone a second before, “and the Sharks and Jets are the two rival gangs of New York, based off of the Capulets and Montagues from Romeo and Juliet.”

“Guess now that makes Chowder Maria and Farms Tony,” Foxtrot said.

“Is that my hat you’re wearing?” Chowder said, seeming desperate to change the subject.

“You know the drill,” Foxtrot said, leaning further back into the back of the couch.

Jack paused the TV as Bitty got out his phone to record Chowder’s singing (he had already missed it multiple times).  In that moment, Foxtrot wasn’t sure what she expected. Probably something from the Little Mermaid, or possibly West Side Story, since they were just talking about it.  But what he started singing just a moment later was nowhere near the realm of what she expected.

“ _ Time stops, when suddenly you see her… _ ”

As Chowder sang (in a rather impressive baritone voice, nonetheless), Foxtrot was in awe.  She hadn’t listened to Big Fish in a while, not since her high school performed the musical her senior year of high school.  Everyone in the room seemed equally as shocked when they heard Chowder’s singing voice, except Caitlin, who sat on the couch quietly, a small smile on her face.  Since Chowder was kind of loud while he sung, a few other players wandered down to see what was going on, including Holster, who frantically attempted to figure out what musical the song was from.  As Foxtrot turned around to tell him it was from Big Fish, Caitlin stood up and did something no one in the room expected, not even Chowder.

“ _ That boy is staring and I feel a chill, I don’t know why… _ ”

Caitlin was a just as good, if not a better, singer as Chowder was, and she transitioned into Sandra’s part perfectly.  Foxtrot wondered if they got voice lessons from the same person.

After she finished the few lines of Sandra’s solo, Chowder rejoined the song, ignoring Foxtrot in favor of looking at his girlfriend.  Lardo had come downstairs after hearing their duet, holding the Sin Bin in her arms. Foxtrot pointed to the Sharks baseball cap she was wearing, but Lardo shook her head and gestured to Caitlin.  Apparently romantic duets were a fineable offence now.

Chowder and Caitlin finished their duet to applause, immediately followed by multiple team members insisting on them being fined.

“I only joined in because Foxtrot’s wearing my Soffe shorts,” Caitlin objected, pointing to the Samwell red shorts Foxtrot was wearing over her leggings.

“I thought she was trying to start a fad or something,” Jack said.

“Even though I am all for discovering musicals through Foxtrot’s return policy,” Holster said, “I still demand $5 from both of you for that mushy look on your faces.”

“But-” Chowder said.

“Captain’s orders,” Ransom said from next to Holster as Caitlin and Chowder started fishing in their pockets.

Jack tapped on Ransom’s leg from where he was sitting on the couch.  “Did you know Farmer’s from Canada?”


End file.
